MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

That's how much work I've missed due to illness in the last month. Over 90 hours. First the phantom neck pain of doom took a few days and three doctor/healer/shaman-type visits, then a few days later swine flue kept me home for an entire week; now I'm about to go to work for the first time in 9 days, due to a most miserable infection that I thought was influenza A because a friend's daughter had the exact same symptoms and that diagnosis, so I didn't go to a doctor until Sunday. Antibiotics are good.

I suppose I should be grateful that my work hasn't questioned any of my absences or even put the brunt of the work of covering my shifts on my shoulders, and I suppose I should be intensely grateful that I have people who are willing to help me out with my rent and bills next month. I should also be grateful that I managed to get through finals ok in the midst of all this crap. But really, it's hard for me to be grateful for anything that starts out "well, at least..." I'm mad I missed so much work and now my finances are screwed up, I'm mad I missed the whole Christmasy season that I love, I'm mad I missed a month's worth of writer's group, my dad's birthday, 4 separate Christmas parties, and attending ritual on Yule. So I guess this isn't so much a triumphant return to health as it is a seethingly resentful one.


And on that note... yeah, there's no real juxtaposition here. A meme ganked from macavitykitsune from awhile back.


Then: December 1999

1. Age: 14

2. Romantic Status: Single

3. Occupation: Student

4. Fun night out: 49th Street Galleria. :)

5. My BFFs: Maria, Tara

6. I spent way too much time: Watching CATS. Trust me, don't ask.

7. I spent not enough time: Hmm... not sure. Perhaps "in the real world" would be a suitable answer. :)

8. I wanted to be when I grew up: A writer

9. Biggest concern: Dealing with school. I remember hating the majority of my teachers and also the majority of my friends that year.

10. What my biggest concern should have been: The pills I had just started taking and the way they were making things worse.

11. Where did I live: SLC, UT

12. Dumbest thing I did that year: Pissed off/got pissed off at Mrs. Lane. I almost didn't finish biology because I couldn't be in her class anymore (a mutual decision) and I also found out later that she had told other teachers and administrators that I was suicidal.

13. If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: You're not depressed, you're bipolar and the drug you're on is making it worse. Find a new doctor.

Now: December 2009

1. Age: 24

2. Romantic Status: Single

3. Occupation: Assistant manager at a group home; student.

4. Fun night out: Callihoovering (writer's group), goddess circle, becoming overly caffeinated for that hour of night in coffee shops.

5. My BFFs: Krystal, Anna

6. I spend way too much time: Online, reading webcomics and top 10 lists

7. I spend not enough time: Cleaning up after myself. My place is always wrecked

8. I want to be when I grow up: Myself

9. Biggest concern: Getting through school when I've lost my motivation

10. What my biggest concern should be: Probably the same. Possibly devoting more time to spiritual development.

11. Where do I live: Same place

12. Dumbest thing I have done this year: Is non internet postable. Seriously, did a very screwy thing back in May.

13. What I think I would say to myself in 10 years: I'd ask the self of 10 years from now to give me some pointers. :)


Summary:

1. What do I miss most from 1999: Tara Andersen. I'd give just about anything to find her.  I have tried so hard to find her since high school and I can't; I have a gut feeling she's not alive, and unfortunately my gut feelings on that matter have a great track record. Furthermore, the circumstances are such that I feel intensely guilty.

2. What do I miss least from 1999: Bonneville Jr. High

3. What have I accomplished in 10 years that I am most proud of: Putting myself together.

4. What have I NOT accomplished in 10 years that I wish I had: Hell, when I was 14 I still had the illusion that I'd be a fabulously successful published author before I graduated high school.

The longest, darkest
Night hid unexpected snow.
Sparkling Solstice gift.

I was reading this book a few days ago, Every Dead Thing by John Connolly, and there was this one part of the book when the main character is driving through Louisiana and sees a bumper sticker. Now, this was not a big part of the book or the plot but it stuck out to me. The bumper sticker read "God is pro-life."

I read that and it got me thinking...is He really pro-life? I mean, if He created us and gave us the ability to think and reason and choose every path we take in life, wouldn't that make Him pro-choice? Sure, He might not want women to get abortions but He allows us to choose for ourselves. I mean, I doubt I could ever get an abortion, but I'm not going to tell another woman she can't or call her out of her name if she does. Yeah, I'm pretty sure God is pro-choice.

Onto other things, I have concert-ed my life away in 2009. I have to have gone to at least 5 concerts this year, a new one being added to my list this past Saturday. The girls and I went to see Shinedown (FINALLY!) in Biloxi, MS. It was general admission and tickets were only $35 without the ticketmaster additions. And it was great fun!  It was about a 2 hour drive from Baton Rouge but y'all know I've been trying to see Shinedown live for like a year now. So that was no big deal to me. And I have the kinds of friends who'll just go just to go somewhere. I love them dearly for that.

So we all went, and we thought Shinedown was the headline, but we get there and it turns out Papa Roach is the "technical" headline. (I say "technical" because Papa Roach came on last but they and Shinedown had the same amount of time on stage.) Halestorm was the opening band and they effin rocked. I love female leads for metal bands and she certainly didn't disappoint.

Then Shinedown came out and sang so many songs that I loved. They are such an uplifting band, too. I realized it with their songs but it was even more obvious at the concert when they spoke. And those guys are so talented! The guitar player played like 3 different types of guitars during their set, once even playing acoustic while still having the regular one around his neck. And the bass player also played keyboard on some of the songs. They were so good. And having wanted to see them live for so long I was just awe-struck when it finally happened.

After Shinedown my friends and I toyed with the idea of leaving because they were who we came to see, really. But I'm happy we didn't because Papa Roach brought it home. They killed it and ended it with proper rock show flair, while reminding me that I knew more of their songs than I realized. This also accounts for the first time I actually moshed and, dare I say, enjoyed it. Usually when people are moshing only a few people are doing it, and they're jumping all around and crazy and generally annoying everyone else in the crowd. But what Papa Roach did was tell all of us on the floor to separate down the middle, told us we'd be forming a Wall of Death, and to get out now if we didn't want to be involved. Now, we were like right at the railing in the front by this point so I'd be damned if we were moving now! So we just did it. And I must say, it's a lot more fun when you're a willing participant.

Then, as a bonus, Shinedown came back out and joined Papa Roach on stage to perform a U2 song. I took so many pictures and videos, and I bought this really cute Shinedown shirt. It has some lyrics from their song Second Chance on it. If you haven't heard that song, you need to. Click here. It's the second one. (If you like that one I will gladly recommend others.) 

So all in all it was great. I did realize, though, that concerts are a lot more fun when you're not worrying about pictures and videos. But it's okay because I get to see them again in April! :D Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin (again), and Nickelback are coming to DC and I've already got my floor ticket. It'll probably be the last I buy for awhile due to the price.

What can I say? Most girls buy clothes, I buy concert tickets. ...Or both, as it were.

Many thanks go to blueutopiah, sekahyyh, and firefox1490 for sending me paid account holiday gifts. I was so surprised when I got the emails, like staring open-mouthed at my computer screen. But thank you and I love you all!! And I will soon have a paid account, once I can figure out if it's possible to use more than one coupon at a time.

I'll be posting more of what I wanted to say today tomorrow because it's 4:30 in the morning and I have church at 9. And I'm too excited at finally being back to my church to miss any Sundays while at home.

But one thing can be said, my Saints lost their first match of the season today. And while it was heartrending to watch and saddening after the fact, I believe they'll finish the season strong. No more losses for our 13-1 record!

Edited for HTML Fail

Title: Untitled as of yet.
Fandom: Wolf's Rain
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: PG-13/Teen for violence and cursing.
Summary: She was the last dog for miles, a guardian of livestock in the freezing northland..she never thought the wilderness held any meaning for her. Not until her enemy, the wolf, shattered the life she once knew. [Blue/Hige] [AU]

I've rekindled my love for Wolf's Rain by re-watching the DVD's of it that I actually have. (Though they are random episodes and totally out of order, lol.) I wanted to write a quick fanfic for it, and I did this AU plot that I've had stuck in my head for months.

I have a thing for Alternate Universe stories, for some reason. The characters have no human forms, like they do in the anime, so it'll be hard to express emotions through wolf body language, but I'll try! (But there's still dialogue, of course, the the wolves are humanized quite a bit.)

This might actually be a multi-chapter story, since I don't think a one-shot will fit the flow of the story.

I'm sure there's mistakes, but constructive critique is welcome.

( Especially not when that human servant had a strong bite of her own. )

Let's see, what's new in my world lately. Let's go back a bit.....

June 14th: the last day of school last year, yippee! I spent the next two fun-filled weeks packing up all my belongings, because in May of same year, Lloyd asked me to live with him. OMG, this was a huge step for me, after being on my own for the last 20 years, but it seemed right, so I did it; gawd, what was I thinking!!!

July 2nd: whew, finally finished moving and cleaning and turned in my keys!

July 4th: Katie, Lloyd and I headed down to Hatteras for a fun-filled and relaxing week at the Outer Banks, to supposedly recover from two hard weeks of moving and cleaning! Oh yeah, we took our bikes too, so we could ride around and have lots of supposed fun at the Outer Banks, however.....

July 7th: Lloyd falls off his bike while we're riding around and having lots of fun at the Outer Banks, and breaks his damned hip!!!!! OMG, it was aweful. They took him up to the hospital in Nags Head, only an hour long ride. I had to rush back to the cabana to take care of Katie, and my neighbors in two other cabanas offered to watch her so I could drive up to Nags Head, which I quickly did! At Nags Head, the hospital decided his hip was broken and that they could not operate on him, because of his heart condition, which put him at great risk and they didn't feel they could do it. So they ambulanced him to Norfolk General, another 2 hour drive.......Meanwhile I drove back to the cabana and found a kennel for Katie and headed on up to Norfolk. I got there at 10:30 that night, to find my Lloyd laying in a bed in a hospital room by himself, looking like a crazy man, he was in so much pain and totally out of his mind, cause of pain and pain killers!

That was Tuesday night. By the time they operated on him, it was late Wednesday night. Let's just say, Wednesday was NOT a fun day. Lloyd wanted a cigarette something aweful and at one point, because I would not wheel him, bed and all, outside for a cig, he says, "That's it, it's over and you can have the house cause I'm leaving, &@x*&x%#!!!!" Gee, I wish I'd gotten that in writing, bwahahhahaa!

Needless to say, it was a fun-filled summer. Lloyd came home a week later-his stay at the hospital is just a blur. The operation went well. I was sitting all alone that night, worried and waiting, because of worrying about his heart and him surviving the operation. I spent the rest of the summer taking care of him and my 7 gardens, and taking care of him. Men are really fun when they're down and injured, aren't they?!!!? Anyway, he went from walker to crutches to one crutch, and now he's on a cane. But things seem to be a bit wrong. He's in an increasing amount of pain, even though it's been over 5 months. Now, finally, they are listening to him and trying to figure out what's wrong. His hip seems to be mending ok, but they think his knee is now messed up and have him scheduled for knee surgery to take a looksee. His knee's been hurting more than his hip. He can't work, so yes, it's been a fun ride. Hopefully he'll get squared away someday soon, before I go completely BONKERS! I love him, but man oh man oh man......

December 19th: Meanwhile, we still haven't been able to do all the sorting of his stuff and my stuff that we had planned to do all summer, and here it is flippin Christmas already. Like I said, what was I thinking, teehee?
 
I will say though, that I love living here. He has 13 acres and 6 of them are wooded, and we're having a blizzard, and it is beautiful out there. Katie is happy here too, because she loves the great outdoors, especially the many deer that come around, the deer that she would love to catch and munch upon. She's gotten loose a few times and come back with what looks like deer bones, hmmmmmm.

It is lovely out here, I have to admit. I've gotten used to the space and thoroughly enjoyed gardening this summer, which is something completely new to me, after living in a townhouse so many years. I love our deck and the woods that edge the yard. I'm trying to upload some wintery pics of our blizzard, but seem to be having all kinds of trouble doing so.

So, how are y'all?
 
hugs, Karin

Wow, it is snowing bigtime here in Spotsylvania, Virginia, and it is so gorgeous out there.

My Katiegirl is loving it too. Her doggy house is almost completely buried in snow and looks like an igloo - all you can see is the opening. I took some pictures but have to upload them still.

I hope everyone is toasty warm and happy.

Oh, by the way, anyone remember who I am? I'm pretty much snowed in, well, completely snowed in but enjoying the sensation immensely, and thought I'd spend the afternoon online.


Hugs and snowy kisses!


Karin

Some words can't be said
when night beats me black and blue,
but you brought the sun.

Soooo I'm going to Greece this summer!!!

I'm really excited! I'm going with my school's Classics department. We'll be there for 13 days - from May 13 to May 24 - and we get to go on a cruise of the surrounding isles as well as to Turkey! And do you want to know how much I paid? $200. Because I'm in the honors department at my school and they have money saved up for honors students to travel and do study abroad and all that, so they're covering the trip!

So osoimaru, I don't want to be in Greece and come back only to find out that you already visited the States, alright. That would put a damper on my trip, missing your visit.

But yes, I am reeeally excited about going. It'll only be my second time outside of the country and Greece has so much history and art and just everything. And it's going to be great. :)

On the (current) downside of life, I haven't been asleep since 8:30 last night. It's now 2pm. And now I'm going to have to force myself to stay awake because I have to finish studying for my organic chem exam tomorrow. After that, though, I get to go hooooooooooooome!

someone will read it
and think "damn that's a good one"
won't leave a comment

One can infer that
solitude is better than
loneliness always

an abandoned bridge
my personal paradise
only known to me

I am not afraid
to embrace the solitude
a wife of the night

Solitude is a place where
there are no interruptions
only the streams song